First you tell your draft board you're hooked on dope.
You don't need the army 'cause you've seen Bob Hope.
Walk around the floor kinda nice and loose.
Tell 'em your fiancee's name is Bruce.
When they ask about your schooling, then you say
That you studied under Cassius Clay.
Then put some lipstick on when you're photographed,
And that's what I call dodgin' the draft!
Then you show the captain a note from mom,
Stand there while he reads it and suck your thumb.
When he takes your family history, state with pride,
"Benedict Arnold was on my father's side." (1)
He'll hand you an IQ test, just look at it with gloom,
Then fold it like an airplane and sail it 'cross the room.
If they believe you don't know your fore from your aft,
That's what I call...shirking your military responsibility.
Clump around the floor like your feet are flat.
When they ask about your hearing, just say, "How's that?"
If the sergeant wants a cigarette, treat him right,
Set fire to your draft card, and offer him a light.
When you see the eyechart, don't worry at all.
Say, "I'll be glad to read it, just point me at the wall."
And if the draft board acts in the usual way,
You'll be what I call 1-A. (2)
You don't need the army 'cause you've seen Bob Hope.
Walk around the floor kinda nice and loose.
Tell 'em your fiancee's name is Bruce.
When they ask about your schooling, then you say
That you studied under Cassius Clay.
Then put some lipstick on when you're photographed,
And that's what I call dodgin' the draft!
Then you show the captain a note from mom,
Stand there while he reads it and suck your thumb.
When he takes your family history, state with pride,
"Benedict Arnold was on my father's side." (1)
He'll hand you an IQ test, just look at it with gloom,
Then fold it like an airplane and sail it 'cross the room.
If they believe you don't know your fore from your aft,
That's what I call...shirking your military responsibility.
Clump around the floor like your feet are flat.
When they ask about your hearing, just say, "How's that?"
If the sergeant wants a cigarette, treat him right,
Set fire to your draft card, and offer him a light.
When you see the eyechart, don't worry at all.
Say, "I'll be glad to read it, just point me at the wall."
And if the draft board acts in the usual way,
You'll be what I call 1-A. (2)
(1) Il nome di Benedict Arnold negli USA è sinonimo di tradimento ed infamia. E' stato infatti un eroe della guerra d'Indipendenza che però nel 1775 tradì passando agli inglesi.
(2) 1-A: sigla che sta per “Available for military service”, cioè abile ed arruolato.
(2) 1-A: sigla che sta per “Available for military service”, cioè abile ed arruolato.
envoyé par Bernart Bartleby - 26/11/2017 - 21:04
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Parole di Allan Sherman (1924-1973), comico statunitense celebre per le sue canzoni parodistiche
Sulla melodia della popolare “Ballin' The Jack” (1913) di Jim Burris e Chris Smith.
Nel disco dal vivo “Allan Sherman Live!!! (Hoping You Are The Same)”
Divertente manualetto ad uso dei giovani maschi americani che cercavano di scampare al Vietnam, anche se – così come chiude il brano – il più delle volte non c'era scampo, a meno di non fuggire all'estero o di passare un bel po' di tempo in un carcere militare.